Dear Janine

Dear Janine,

over the last few weeks, as you opened & priced hundreds of holiday boxes, and strung twinkle lights on all of the trees, you have also held space for me as I’ve been dismantling and processing many of my reflections & healing from the past few years. Thank you for listening to all of my words, play by play memories, and my raw emotions of grief, pride and above all hope.

A few years ago we were stepping into our 1st holiday as a downtown boutique, in the middle of a pandemic, while I was also navigating the daily nightmare, stress and concern for my father who was battling cancer, alcoholism, suicide thoughts, violence, debt and on the brink of homelessness. I was an eldest daughter, entrepreneur, wife and mother of 3 who had absolutely no clue what she was doing.

I didn’t have a clue how to run a holiday brick & mortar, and I didn’t have a clue know how to take care of my Father.

We got thru that first year, and the years that followed, while picking up the pieces and moving forward in hope that those were the darkest of days. In many ways they were. Until last year, on the brink of the holiday season, when my Dad threw a coffee mug at my face, in rage when I told him that he needed to get help, and that it could no longer be me.

That was a year ago, and the last time I ever saw my Dad, who passed this Spring. The coffee mug missed my face that day, and I believe that to be day one of the grief, forgiveness and new beginnings that have defined this past year for me, my family, and the Bird & Bear too.

I don’r share this as a call for sympathy, I share it because it is a story so woven into the fabric of the Bird & Bear, and this faithful pursuit of brave becoming, loving better and trusting an inner strength that comes from God above to shine bright, love and lead even in the darkest of days.

We call it the wilderness for a reason, and I’m grateful to Janine, as a friend and proxy for all of you, for braving this journey together, even if you didn’t know that you were.

The holidays will feel different this year, but we’ve got lots of pretty things, twinkle lights and a hopeful faith to light the path.