Backpack

I talk a lot about our “backpack” at the Bird & Bear, as a metaphor for the journey, and how the unique contents of each of our packs equips us to brave the wilderness, and help others who we cross paths with along the way.

The Bird & Bear has been created as a space where we set down your backpack for a bit. It’s where we can open the zipper and share what’s inside. Often times it’s where we leave a few things behind, and pick-up a few new things too. It’s where we nest and rest, as we explore and soar.

My father passed away this week, and as I was looking through old photos, I came across this one of me in his backpack with the wilderness on the horizon. My journey with my father was every bit wild ~ from being in and out of my life, throughout my life, to decades of navigating the duality of pain and love, darkness and light, complexity and clarity, brokenness and forgiveness, and in the end, grief and relief. My backpack has been very heavy for the last few years, with things I’ve carried my entire life, but became like lead in the midst of covid, cancer, addiction, anger, and wild wild love.

As we grieve the loss of a father, grandfather and friend we will hold onto the memories of the many good times and the gratitude we can feel for the love, lessons and lots of laughter we shared. These will be like the stars we’ll look for as we heal from the dark days in the many valleys of this journey.

If you met my Dad, you would have loved him. He was a dreamer, always curious, playful, feisty, competitive, and loved conversation as long as it was looking forward, never backwards. He loved the Red Sox, oceans, cows, cribbage, gardening, lobsters, turkeys, being Irish, and his grandchildren. He loved us kids more as friends, than as a father - and in the end we’ll love and say farewell to him as both.

I pray you have found peace in this next phase of your journey Dad, free of pain and with fields and oceans on every horizon. It’s time for me to unzip my backpack, grieve as we let go, and prepare for the journey forward, with a pack that isn’t so heavy anymore.